Writer, blocked.

It was all going so well.

Earlier this year, it seemed that a new creative streak had grabbed hold of me. Needing an outlet for some creative type of writing now that I'm working with much dryer source material than I was at the paper, I joined a writer's group. For several weeks--months, even--I attended regularly as my schedule allowed and brought in short stories that I'd write for our exercises.

These were actually pretty good little pieces as well. I was surprised how much of a story could be written in just 48 hours with just two words given to me. The exercises stretched my creative muscles and I found myself surprised at the work I was creating...these weren't brilliant pieces but, given the constraints, most of them were fairly solid and I discovered an affinity for working with broken, flawed characters.

Not only that, but other types of writing got a little creative push as well. I blogged more regularly and passionately, not afraid to stir up a little controversy over politics and theology. I even began working on a novel, transforming a screenplay I had written in college into something a little more literary and fleshed-out. I was a writing machine and even decided it was time to close out my Xanga account--which felt so amateurish--and start two new blogs: one devoted to film, the other the one you're reading right now.

And then suddenly, it stopped.

Not totally, mind you. I still pick up some freelance movie reviews for the paper and, upon publication, they find their way into my blog (http://motownmovies.blogspot.com for your information). And I'm sure I've made some half-hearted attempts at writing short stories or getting back into the novel.

But for the most part, out of nowhere, it cooled down quite a bit. Most alarmingly was the sudden disinterest in blogging. Faithful readers of my Xanga (and yes, they were out there) could attest that I was an addicted blogger; nearly every day I wrote some sort of post and it wasn't uncommon for me to write an entry two, maybe three, times a day. Lately, it's been rare to get two posts in the same month!

What's even more odd is that it stopped just as I was getting into it. The week I turned 30, which was the week I opened this blog, I was brimming with creativity. I had posts on turning 30, meditations about life and creativity, new writing exercises and a good run of movie reviews. And then, not a month later, things just kind of ground to a halt. The writing exercises ceased first. Then the movie reviews began to get more sporadic (although to be fair, there was a period in August where I was running too much for work to see movies on the side). And then the daily blogging, which had been an outlet and source of sanity for me for five years, began to wither.

I recently began to wonder just what had caused this.

It couldn't have been turning 30--I don't think the symbolic change of a number is really enough to stifle your creativity.

It could very well have been the stress of many changes in my life--work got hectic for a bit, I had some major car issues and went through a move. Now that those things are settled down I'm starting to get some of those creative impulses back.

And it could also just be that the full-time writing I do during the week was starting to take its toll on my creative nature; I write about science, technology and business. Trust me, there's nothing creative, sexy or fun about the things I right during the week...but would that just make the need for a creative outlet even stronger?

And then it hit me. I did the one thing that was most-likely to send my writing off on the skids:

I fell in love.

Back a few weeks before my 30th birthday, I met K. And we hit it off and it developed into a nice, strong relationship. We've been dating about four months now and I couldn't be happier. Most of our weekends are spent together, we talk on the phone nearly every night and I absolutely, positively love everything about her. Yes, I'm also the sappy romantic who likes talking about his girlfriend every minute, thinks life gets so much better with her around and walks with a bit more of a spring in his step because of this new person in my life. It's pretty great.

But when your writing centers around broken, struggling characters navigating a post-Fall world, it kind of throws a twist into your writing mojo.

I know, I know: love is supposed to inspire people. Relationships give you a muse. The best writing has been about love and romance, filled with sonnets and poems. And I do believe K. is my muse; she inspires me to do my best and push myself.

But my fictional writing has always been about people who have to endure something. They struggle, question and grow. And when your head is in the clouds, it's hard to bring yourself to that level.

It brings up an interesting question: do artists, particularly writers, need tragedy to do their best work?

Looking back, most of my strongest writing came out of tumultuous periods in my life. I was most creative when I was broke, lonely and confused. The questions came easier, I was more willing to follow my imagination wherever it led and I found that the difficulty of my situations made me more empathetic toward my characters. Many other artistic types have said the same thing: that adversity is the soil in which story begins to grow.

But there's also truth in the fact that creativity responds to joy. As Christians, we should know this: we are worshippers by nature. Our job is to respond to what we see God doing. Our creativity--even if it venturs to dark places--is ultimately an expression of joy and worship over who God is and what He's doing. So as worshippers, we should find that any situation--tragic or joyful--is fertile ground for us to dig in our heels and start writing, painting, singing...whatever the gift is that God has blessed us with.

By the way, I don't think it's the relationship itself that has put a temporary halt on my creativity--and if it was, I'd be much happier being with K. and never writing again than to write without her. But I think it's so new and so nice right now that it's just shaken me off my routine and habits. As this new part of my life becomes a regular part of my life, I think I'll find my creative impulses coming back. My urge to blog has already started to be fired up again and I hope that soon I'll also be pulling my book of writing exercises off the wall and approaching that novel again. I even have the germ of an idea for a screenplay or two rattling around, so maybe I'm starting to get a bit ready to do some serious writing.

Maybe I just have to train myself that, no matter what the season or whatever the circumstance, to write. Even if it's no good, even if it falls flat. Just pick up the pen and write.

At least now I have someone by my side who can provide a captive audience.

--CW

"Where Would Jesus Worship?"

So, my blogging has been extremely off lately--especially when compared to what I used to be able to do with my Xanga account. My hope is to get into a habit of blogging several times a week and I'm hoping to set aside some time just for that--Constant Readers, if you're still out there, please be patient! Also, I realize there's an inherent irony in blogging about church on a day when I wasn't able to make it to worship services. Sometimes life's like that :-)

If you step into a Christian bookstore lately, you'll find that it's very cool to bash on the church these days.

The leaders of the Emerging Church--a movement I thought would have fizzled out by now--are always writing books about how spirituality is much more laudable than religion. George Barna has been busy gathering statistics and writing tomes about the death of traditional church as we know it. A look on the shelf at Family Christian Stores will likely show books about how to find the Gospel in "Twighlight" and "The Simpsons" and how Church can be enjoyed just as easily at Starbucks.

As the view of Christians in popular culture continues to diminish, it seems that even those within the body are prone to lash out. And while there is a place for prophetic preaching and warning about the sin that often exists in the church, I think there are some people who just have been hurt by the Body in the past or, for some reason, have an axe to grind with The Church and want people to run away from local congregations and into more user-friendly environment that goes easy on guilt, doesn't make a big deal out of sin and lets everyone experience "The Jesus Way" in their own way--although every one's "own way" seems to involve viewings of "The Matrix," and multiple listenings of "The Joshua Tree." (Full disclosure: I like both "The Matrix" and U2.)

I've even fallen into the trap myself--going from having a healthy skepticism about the behavior of believers to buying into the lie that the Church is diseased and dying; that the Church is doing more harm than good in our culture. I've bemoaned the Church's error of getting in bed with political parties, the attitude with which Christians have addressed the world and the legalism that often still runs rampant in congregations.

But at the end of the day, I have to realize that I still love the Church. It's Christ's Bride. It's the family I'm called into. It's the collection of broken and flawed people that, so help me, I love. The local church may have flaws and irritations but I think it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. It's a collection of broken people that meet regularly to celebrate the One who binds them together. In all its flaws and foibles, the Church is a beautiful thing and I'm getting a bit irritated with all the books and websites touting the end of "Churchianity" as we know it.

This hasn't been an out-of-the-blue realization. Earlier this year I attempted to leave the Church I had attended for seven years only to find myself returning because I love my flawed family too much. Just recently I finished DeYoung and Kluck's phenomenal book "Why We Love the Church," which is a celebration of the very Biblical and very necessary institution of the Church. And in my own quiet times I've been reading through Ephesians and been reminded time and again how God brought the Church together under Christ to glorify Him.

So, in the spirit of celebrating the Church, I'm undertaking a series of blog entries about the Church. I have no idea how many entries this will entail or whether I'm going to stick to straight-out theological concepts or my own personal musings...most likely a mixture of both. Neither will it be a daily post...instead I would like it to last through the month of November, culminating around Thanksgiving. Maybe it will simply become a recurring feature on this blog. We'll see.

For the first part, though, I would like to address this statement that I've heard several times and probably have even used myself.

It's the idea that if Christ was walking the Earth today, He would not belong to a Church but would spend His time in gay bars and on street corners ministering to sinners. After all, He saved his harshest words not for the whores and drunkards, but for the religious leaders of that time.

First, let me agree that there is truth in that statement. When we look at Christ's ministry in the New Testament, He absolutely sought out broken people. He wasn't worried about appearances...it didn't phase Him to be seen at dinner with a tax collector or forgiving an adulterous woman. He knew the need that those broken people had. And He knew that He had the cure for their sickness. And so He went to them. It's a beautiful reminder of Christ's mercy and compassion and something that we should celebrate and keep in our minds.

I definitely believe that were Christ walking around today, He WOULD visit those places. Christ would minister to the homosexual community. He would put His arm around a woman who just had an abortion. He would sit on Fred Phelp's door stoop and lovingly confront him about his hate. He would forgive the whores, call thieves and murderers to repent and remind all the desperate and needy about the hope that exists with Him.

And those who use this example as a reminder for where the Church should be ministering have a good point. Because the Church--the individual members of Christ's body--are the physical representation of Jesus to this world. And we should be willing to go where He would go and minister to those whom He would have us minister to--although, we must also remind ourselves that He was sinless and we are not...and move forward with humility and discretion.

But would Christ go at the expense of the Church?

I seriously doubt it.

Because Christ isn't physically walking the Earth these days, it's tough to address how this would look. After all, Christ is the head of the universal Church. Every believer on the planet is under His authority...so the question brings up all the little rabbit trail questions about would Jesus be a Baptist or Lutheran? Would He worship at an American church or one elsewhere? And what would it mean if He picked one church to settle at?

I'm not going to go off on a tangent with those because they're silly questions that are just distractions (although he would totally be Baptist ;-) ). The point I want to make is that I don't believe Jesus would come to Earth today, 2,000 years after His death and rip asunder the Church. He died for the Church. He loves the Church. He loves when people gather together in His name and worship Him. The Bible speaks volumes about the importance of the Church and--most importantly--Christ's headship and authority over it. Paul's letters were addressed to local congregations, the book of Revelation has Christ personally addressing seven churches and over and over we see commands to not forsake assembling, instructions for gathering for worship and communion and an organizational structure for the Church with offices for pastors, elders, deacons and teachers.

I say this because some people want to say "well, of course Christ loves the Church--His whole body of believers. But that means all the believers in the world; local congregations, organized religion and the idea of meeting together and having a structured organization with budgets, salaries and buildings runs contrary to the Bible." And that's just not what I see in Scripture. In Scripture I see commands for orderly meeting, reminders to meet regularly and offices for preaching and teaching the Word. Organized religion and meetings are practical. As for budgets and salaries and buildings? That's all practical.

And let's remember why Christ would be meeting with the gays, the whores, the adulterers and the thieves. It wouldn't be just to be build friendships. It would be to bring them into relationship with Him...that is to say, to bring them into the Church. Get them out of the bars and into a congregation. Off the street and into fellowship with Brothers and Sisters in Christ. Believers should absolutely go out into the world...and bring back those who will follow.

Much of what the anti-Church crowd suggests is not a bad thing on the surface. But it's empty when you dig deeper. Yes, they suggest going to gay bars to "minister." But many of those same authors hesitate to call homosexuality a sin...so their "ministering" is not a sharing of the Gospel at all but of building friendships and saying "see, Christians can be cool too. And we're not going to judge you or make you uncomfortable by using the 'sin' word."

And they would probably be shocked to see that Jesus would go into the bar, treat people with love and compassion...but also call them to repentance and tell them to leave their lifestyles. The anti-church group is all about the loving, merciful side of Jesus...but they absolutely forget that His love is a love one that exists in truth and His mercy exists because His holiness has made fellowship with Him impossible apart from Him. And if we know that the Bible preaches that all are sinners and sinners are damned to hell and the only hope they have is faith in Christ, which includes repentance...but we're not saying anything to them about that...are we really being that loving? (I want to unpack this issue further in a few days).

But what about the statement that Christ wouldn't want to be around the Church because of his distaste towards religious leaders?

Yes, Christ's harshest words were to the religious leaders of His day. And yes, when you're dealing with a collection of saved-sinners, there are always going to be pastors who are selfish and sinful---the Bible is full of harsh words toward them and I don't think Christ would bite His tongue at them today.

But let's remember that it wasn't simply "oh, these leaders are so irritating." It was that they were perverting what God had created, heaping heavy burdens on their followers and living lives of hypocrisy---keeping the outward law while, inward, they were evil and prideful.

Yes, if a pastor is living a life like that today, harsh words are in store...and the elders and congregation should not hesitate to bring them up. But I believe there are many pastors out there these days who preach the Gospel and cherish its truth, understanding that there is an offensive nature to it that can divide families and nations--and yet they preach passionately and lovingly shepherd their congregations. I think Christ would be seen with these people and would take time to fellowship with them regularly...because they are being the Church. They are worshipping Him and loving the Father by preaching what was accomplished on the cross. They are glorifying God...and nothing brings more joy to Christ than the glory of the Father.

Ironically, I think those in the anti-Church crowd would find harsh words in store for their false compassion...the way they want the church to only embrace social justice and play down the things of eternal consequence. The way they chide the church for not accepting sinners while not understanding that churches are flawed BECAUSE they already have sinners amongst them. I think Christ's words would be very harsh toward the Brian MacClarens and Rob Bells of the world, who are peddling what is at best a watered down Gospel and, at worst, heresy.

It fills me with great pleasure to think that Christ is merciful enough to fellowship with sinners. And they can be found everywhere---in the gay bars, on the street corners and in my own church. But it fills me with greater joy to realize that there is a set-apart body of believers who Christ loves intensely and passionately. They are the Church and I'm humbled and amazed to be a part of it.

--CW